top of page
.png){kind=small}
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Car quotes
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
"A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up."
"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"
"I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot."
bottom of page