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Quotes by Cartoonist
"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."
35
"Strong people make as many mistakes as weak people. Difference is that strong people admit their mistakes, laugh at them, learn from them. That is how they become strong."
35
"I think there's something inherently dishonest in trying to go back and mess with the past."
35
"Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth."
35
"Not once in six years did I make it to the office by 9 on the dot."
34
"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
34
"Among the great glories of the MGM lot were the vast outdoor sets that had been constructed over the years."
34
"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
34
"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
34
"The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present."
34
"Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I wonder which one YOU are. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!"
34
"Mostly it was Mad magazine. And I did read a lot of - I had a subscription when I was little, but I also had access to some old collections, the little paperbacks of the really good stuff."
Old,
34
"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"
34
"When I was growing up in the 1960s, there was starting to be more books geared towards young adults."
34
"Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?"
34
"People really want to think that these things really happened. I don't know why that important, but I know that when I finish reading a novel or something, I want to know how much of that really happened to this author."
34
"The satiric ethos of Mad was a much bigger childhood influence."
34
"I'm convinced that the infantry is the group in the army which gives more and gets less than anybody else."
Army,
34
"CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien."
34
"Publicity gets more than a little tiring. You want it, you need it, you crave it, and you're scared as hell when it stops."
33
"I'm pretty illiterate when it comes to comics history."
33
"I'd love to do a whole series of stories and have them collected into books."
33
"In Hell all the messages you ever left on answering machines will be played back to you."
33
"I would like to thank the people who encouraged me to draw army cartoons at a time when the gag man's conception of the army was one of mean ole sergeants and jeeps which jump over mountains."
33
"I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises that most of us live with."
33
"If the gag is complicated, you spend more time thinking about the way you're drawing it."
33
"Journalism was looked upon as a more noble thing than it is now. I don't know if it carries the same cachet that it did then."
33
"Even if you go to Australia today, it's very much like visiting a state you haven't been to."
33
"Modern Carpet Designs may provide endless entertainment for your guests."
33
"I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness."
33
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."
33
"Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.Calvin: Oh."
33
"That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
33
"One-newspaper towns are not good because all the surviving newspaper does is print money. They make 25 percent on their money every year, and if they go down to 22 percent, they start laying people off."
33
"The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression."
33
"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
33
"Today, comics is one of the very few forms of mass communication in which individual voices still have a chance to be heard."
33
"I want to point out to adults that there is a world of good material available to you now in comic form - in this medium - and learn to give it your support because the more you support it, the better the material will be as it comes out."
32
"Friends don't necessarily made good business or creative partners."
32
"I've always despised old people. I got angry at my father when he began to show signs of age."
32
"The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else. was to be indifferent to that difference."
32
"While I have never been a regular churchgoer, I'm anything but immune to the power and the majesty of the religious experience."
32
"I was convinced there as only one actor to play Templeton the Rat, and that was Tony Randall."
32
"I hope we don't get to the point where we have to have the cat stop chasing the mouse to teach him glassblowing and basket weaving."
32
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
32
"I think I'm maintaining the quality, but internally I'm paying for it."
31
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