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"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
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!["Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw==)
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"Quick. Name ten dead redheads."
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Personal Development
"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
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Personal Development
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"So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it."
Food
"There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do."
Time
"If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life."
Life
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
Life
"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."
Life
"Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it's less wasteful."
Ethics
"I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky."
Loneliness
"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze 'em?"
Curiosity
"When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win!Conversations aren't contests!Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead."
Communication
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."
Strategy
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