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"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
"A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up."
"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say 'Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in."
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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