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"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."
"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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