"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car, World

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"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Exlpore more Car quotes

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Dreams, Freedom, Nothing

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Washington

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Racing

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

Steve Case, American Businessman

Car, Idea, Time, May

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

Evan Davis, British Economist

Car,

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

Woody Allen, American Director

Car, Being

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

E. L. Doctorow, American Author

Car, Driving, Night

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Dogs, Nothing, Right

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Day, Girls, Teenage

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Parents, Smoking

Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper

"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."

Windows

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Blind

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."

Night

"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

Driving

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink