"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car, World

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"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Exlpore more Car quotes

"I don't know how to drive a car."

Javier Bardem, Spanish Actor

Car,

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Car,

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

Car, Kids

"Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car."

Laurence J. Peter, Canadian Writer

Car, Christian, Church

"You don't have to worry about whether the car is set up right or not, you know it is, and it's down to you. Ultimately, that's what every driver wants."

Bobby Rahal, American Athlete

Car, Right, Worry

"My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash."

Henny Youngman, American Comedian

Car, Brother

"Because I'm a young black man driving a really nice, expensive car, I sometimes get harassed when I'm rolling through a ghetto neighbourhood."

Coolio, American Musician

Car, Driving, Man

"A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up."

Florence Griffith Joyner, American Athlete

Car, Want

"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Hate, Problems, Want

"I like to sing in the car with the windows rolled down and hair blowing all over my face."

Lauren Alaina, American Musician

Car, Hair, Windows

Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

Driving

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Blind

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."

Night

"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."

Windows

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now