"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car, World

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"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Exlpore more Car quotes

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Car,

"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Car, Friend, Friends

"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."

Joseph Barbera, American Cartoonist

Car, Fishing, Hate, Want

"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."

Jimmy Fallon, American Comedian

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"One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: I'm falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with."

June Carter Cash, American Musician

Car, Love, Time, Thought

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

Car, Kids

"I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime."

Tracey Gold, American Actress

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"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"One of my biggest problems this season was with the clutch at the start of the race. I hate to risk the car."

Alain Prost, French Celebrity

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Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."

Night

"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

Kitchen

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Blind

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building