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"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
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"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."

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6
"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."
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"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."

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"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
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"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."

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"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."

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"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
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"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."

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"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."
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"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."

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"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."

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7
"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."
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"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."

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"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team."
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"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team."

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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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4
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
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"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."

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"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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"I worship the quicksand he walks in."

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7
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"
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"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"

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