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Art Buchwald

"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on."

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"The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible enough to give none."

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"Bankruptcy represents a longstanding commitment in this country to helping people get a fresh start. This principle has never been giving only certain people a fresh start."

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"Coughs seem very common here, especially among the children, though people look strong and healthy, but in the absence of proper statistics one cannot undertake to say whether the district is a healthy one or not."

Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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Art Buchwald
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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Art Buchwald
"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team."
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Art Buchwald
"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."
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Art Buchwald
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
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Art Buchwald
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
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Art Buchwald
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
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Art Buchwald
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
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Art Buchwald
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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Art Buchwald
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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