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Art Buchwald

"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."

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"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

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"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

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"No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."

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"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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"There are three categories of people exist in the world; "the wanters", "the wishers" and "the makers."

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"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."

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"Clinton... believes that the Washington Press Corps is so out of touch that it is absolutely inconceivable that reporters would understand the issues that people are really dealing with in their lives."

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Art Buchwald
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
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Art Buchwald
"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."
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Art Buchwald
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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Art Buchwald
"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."
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Art Buchwald
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
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Art Buchwald
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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Art Buchwald
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
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Art Buchwald
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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Art Buchwald
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"
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Art Buchwald
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
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