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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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"People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone."

"Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."

"People who see beauty all around them live in a beautiful world. People who see danger all around them live in a dangerous world."

"Now I don't know half of the young people in the industry. It's too spread out, too diffuse."
Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald

"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."

"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."

"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."

"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
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