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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."
"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."
"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."
"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
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