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Art Buchwald

"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Art Buchwald
"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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Art Buchwald
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
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Art Buchwald
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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Art Buchwald
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
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Art Buchwald
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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Art Buchwald
"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."
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Art Buchwald
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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Art Buchwald
"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."
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Art Buchwald
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
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Art Buchwald
"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."
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