"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."

Age, Birthday, Security

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"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."

Exlpore more Age quotes

"If youth knew; if age could."

Sigmund Freud, Austrian Psychologist

Age, Youth

"There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity."

Arthur Schopenhauer, German Philosopher

Age, Absurdity, May

"Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen."

Willa Cather, American Author

Age, Writer

"Old age and the passage of time teach all things."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

Age, Time, Old

"A whole bunch of months passed and I didn't hear anything and then he emailed and asked if I could do a little piece on POD and Queens of the Stone Age."

Chuck Klosterman, American Critic

Age, Months

"Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Age, Belief, Disguise

"No lie ever reaches old age."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

Age, Lie, Old

"At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school, but you can't tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me."

Barnaby C. Keeney, American Educator

Age, People, College, Hell

"The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them thus preserving the system."

Quentin Crewe, British Journalist

Age, Children, Parents

"The surest sign of age is loneliness."

Annie Dillard, American Author

Age, Loneliness

Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald

"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."

Will

"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."

Tax

"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."

Health

"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"

Talk

"I worship the quicksand he walks in."

Admiration

"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team."

Politics

"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."

Water

"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."

Time

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."

Society

"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."

Television