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Art Buchwald

"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"

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"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"

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Donna Grant

"We would rather speak ill of ourselves than not talk about ourselves at all."

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"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

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"I never did pal around with actresses. Their talk usually bored me to tears."

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Donna Grant

"It is possible to stand around with a cocktail in one's hand and talk with everyone, which means with no one."

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"Before I ever put anything on paper, Jerry and I would talk back and forth."

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"I never let my subject get in the way of what I want to talk about."

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"You can be a great reporter and not be such a great talk show host."

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Donna Grant

"Tombstones don't talk back."

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Donna Grant

"I'm guarded; I don't talk much."

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Donna Grant

"I think you have to be yourself, and you have to be real and you have to admit what you don't know, and talk about what you do know, and talk about what you don't know as long as you say you don't know it."

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Art Buchwald
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?"
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Art Buchwald
"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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Art Buchwald
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
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Art Buchwald
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
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Art Buchwald
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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Art Buchwald
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
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Art Buchwald
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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Art Buchwald
"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."
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Art Buchwald
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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Art Buchwald
"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."
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