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"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
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"Of course, Einstein was a very great scientist indeed, and I have enormous respect for him, and great admiration for the discoveries he made. But he was very committed to a view of the objectivity of the physical world."

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

"Mister, when I see my first lady angel, if God ever sees fit to show me one, it'll be her wings not her face that'll make my mouth fall open. I've already seen the prettiest face that ever could be."

"The poet never asks for admiration; he wants to be believed."

"If a man admires a woman he had something in his mind that he would like to carry further. If a woman admires a man, she had definitely made up her mind."

"To Scarlett, there was something breath-taking about Ellen O'Hara, a miracle that lived in the house with her and awed her and charmed and soothed her."

"Between flattery and admiration there often flows a river of contempt."

"Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

"She reflected she must be completely besotted with Peter, if his laughter could hallow an aspidistra."

"But all I could see was her. No skill of mine, no artist anywhere, could've immortalized how gorgeous she was. It was impossible to believe she'd ever had any doubts about her body. The firelight shone on her skin, golden and perfect, making her look like some radiant goddess of legend. I wanted to kneel before her and offer eternal obedience."
Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald

"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."

"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."

"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."

"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."

"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
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