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"The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water."
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"If you're really on top, you probably didn't do that great, 'cause you have to water it down a bit for it to get that mass appeal."
"There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?"
"The story as told in The Odyssey doesn't hold water. There are too many inconsistencies."
"I need to think about 'Make sure you drink your water.' That's the kind of person I am."
"All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath."
"There's high, and there's high, and to get really high - I mean so high that you can walk on the water, that high-that's where I'm going."
Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
"So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around."
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
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