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"Television has a real problem. They have no page two."
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"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
"I am currently talking to one of the studios about making American Star as a TV series."
"I've appeared on a weekly syndicated television show since 1980."
"He who is created by television can be destroyed by television."
"Most of my peers in television seem to be from a different planet. I don't hang out with any of them."
"I don't think we use television the way we should or the way the inventors intended."
"I haven't killed anyone on television in years and years. Must have been twenty something years."
"I'm never at my best on television. There's a row of cameras between you and the audience, and it's very weird, very confusing."
"Ronald Reagan is clearly to television what Franklin Roosevelt was to radio."
Explore more quotes by Art Buchwald
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
"Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was."
"A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
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