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Steven Wright

"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"

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"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Words are the fallen ruins of silent majesty."

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Amber Hurdle

"Language is like a road, it cannot be perceived all at once because it unfolds in time, whether heard or read. This narrative or temporal element has made writing and walking resemble each other."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sanskrit has different words to describe love for a brother or sister, love for a teacher, love for a partner, love for one's friends, love of nature, and so on. English has only one word, which leads to never-ending confusion."

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Amber Hurdle

"Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?""With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing."Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that..."

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Amber Hurdle

"The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is a pride in speaking this language."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can use the power of words to bury meaning or to excavate it."

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Amber Hurdle

"One who has just learnt a foreign language, constantly resorts, while talking, to words belonging to that language in order to make a show of his or her achievement. But one who knows the language well, seldom uses it when speaking in his or her own mother tongue. Such is the case with those who are well advanced in religion."

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Amber Hurdle

"I want to hear you wound my lovely language with your rough barbarian tongue."

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Amber Hurdle

"Wordsare powerfulforces of nature.they are destruction.they are nourishment. they are flesh. they are water.they are flowers and bone.they burn. they cleansethey erase. they etch. they can eitherleave youfeelinghomelessor brimmingwith home."

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"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety."
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"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
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"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
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