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Eoin Colfer

"Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building."

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"Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building."

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Akiroq Brost

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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Akiroq Brost

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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Akiroq Brost

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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Akiroq Brost

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

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Akiroq Brost

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

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Akiroq Brost

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

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Akiroq Brost

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

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Akiroq Brost

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

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Akiroq Brost

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

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Akiroq Brost

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
"Some people just needed to be stolen from."
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Eoin Colfer
"Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"
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Eoin Colfer
"No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order A la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?"
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Eoin Colfer
"That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart."
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Eoin Colfer
"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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Eoin Colfer
"I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal."
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Eoin Colfer
"Excuse me, Tex,' the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits."
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Eoin Colfer
"The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present."
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Eoin Colfer
"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"
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Eoin Colfer
"I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?"
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