"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

Wife,

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"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

Will Rogers, American Actor

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"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Wife,

"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."

Darius Rucker, American Musician

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"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."

Michael W. Smith, American Musician

Wife, Day, Kids, Relationships

"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."

Michael York, British Actor

Wife, Film

"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."

Mel Tillis, American Musician

Wife, Care

"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."

Max von Sydow, Swedish Actor

Wife, Children, Name, Visit

"I got a wife who likes expensive things, so she takes all the cash."

James Brown, American Musician

Wife,

"You know, grieve your wife, this is an impulsive thing and you have no idea the kind of trouble you're getting yourself into it. And of course he doesn't listen to me and he adopts this child."

Oliver Platt, Canadian Actor

Wife, Idea, Trouble

"But when we have families, when we have children, this gives us a purpose for being, to protect our children, to avoid going to jail because if I'm in jail, who looks after my children, who's there for my wife?"

Ernie Hudson, American Actor

Wife, Purpose, Being, Children

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."

Worth,

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

Wife,

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother, Selling, Living

"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."

Help, Woman

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

Home, Love, Affection, Night

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Sleep, Tomorrow

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Exlpore more Wife quotes

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."

"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."

"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."

"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."

"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."

"I got a wife who likes expensive things, so she takes all the cash."

"You know, grieve your wife, this is an impulsive thing and you have no idea the kind of trouble you're getting yourself into it. And of course he doesn't listen to me and he adopts this child."

"But when we have families, when we have children, this gives us a purpose for being, to protect our children, to avoid going to jail because if I'm in jail, who looks after my children, who's there for my wife?"

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."