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"I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am not drinking now but I cannot guarantee tomorrow."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The beard is here because I got tired of shaving and Grissom, subsequently, got tired of shaving. Grissom, like any other 50-year-old man, is going through a series of mid-life changes. Who knows, he may start drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I quit drinking, so I can think clear. When you have chop trouble, drinking doesn't help the healing process."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I get really saucy after a few drinks. Sexy rude, not obnoxious rude."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number."
Service
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
Marriage
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
Home
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
Sleep
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Music
"You look like a talent scout for a cemetery."
Talent
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Wife
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
Help
"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"
Time
"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
Woman
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