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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."
"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."
"A guy came to the shop every day. A lot of guys put the foam like stuff that forms to you, kinda like the Indy car guys run. He fitted it up and it felt real good, so we're going to try to run it."
"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
"I never listen to music in the house, I listen to music in the car."
"Racing a thoroughbred grand prix car in front of a home crowd will be a surreal and mighty experience."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety."
"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
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