"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car,

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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

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"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Dreams, Freedom, Nothing

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Washington

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Racing

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

Steve Case, American Businessman

Car, Idea, Time, May

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

Evan Davis, British Economist

Car,

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

Woody Allen, American Director

Car, Being

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

E. L. Doctorow, American Author

Car, Driving, Night

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Dogs, Nothing, Right

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Day, Girls, Teenage

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Parents, Smoking

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

Humor

"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."

Creativity

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

Comedy

"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."

Comedy

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Absurdity

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

Humor

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

Humor

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Exlpore more Car quotes

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."