"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

Comedy, Humor, Accident, Irony, Reading

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"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

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"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."

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Exlpore more Comedy quotes

"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."

"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."

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"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

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