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"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"
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"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."
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Personal Development

"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."
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Personal Development

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."
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Personal Development

"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."
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Personal Development

"Marriage is a million piece puzzle, a pristine and exciting pursuit at the beginning that gradually becomes a daunting task, usually more challenging than anticipated. It is only those truly committed to solving that puzzle who witness in the end the miraculous outcome of every tiny piece laid out and pressed together in an inspiring and envious creation-a treasure only time, resoluteness, and perseverance could create."
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Personal Development

"Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage."
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Personal Development

"Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage."
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Personal Development

"What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married."
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Personal Development

"Any good marriage is secret territory, a necessary white space on society's map. What others don't know about it is what makes it yours."
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Personal Development

"Never marry when under the guise you need to 'see if it'll work', but rather marry because in your mind you want to make it work."
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Personal Development
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"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"
Marriage

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building

"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."
Windows

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
Driving

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Drink

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind
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