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"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"
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"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."
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Personal Development
"The fact is unalterable, that a fellow-mortal with whose nature you are acquainted solely through the brief entrances and exits of a few imaginative weeks called courtship, may, when seen in the continuity of married companionship, be disclosed as something better or worse than what you have preconceived, but will certainly not appear altogether the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When she had first crossed the dry and dusty world which his mind inhabited she had been like a spring shower; in opening himself to it he had not been mistaken. He had gone wrong only in assuming that marriage, by itself, gave him either power or title to appropriate that freshness. As he now saw, one might as well have thought one could buy a sunset by buying the field from which one had seen it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No marriage stays in the same pattern forever. It is both the best feature of marriage and the worst, that it inevitably changes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The main point of the article was that a man's world is different from a women's world and a man's emotions are different from a women's emotions and only marriage can bring the two worlds and the two different sets of emotions together properly."
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Personal Development
"I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after Ihad children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state."
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Personal Development
"Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret."
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Personal Development
"A man's world is different from a woman's world and a man's emotions are different from a woman's emotions and only marriage can bring the two different sets of emotions together properly."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't constantly make angry your wife. Once she throws you out of her heart, there is no appeal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish."
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"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
Night
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car
"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."
Now
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
Driving
"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"
Marriage
"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind
"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen
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