"I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating."

"Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts."

"I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once."

"Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind."

"I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball."

"I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field."

"I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it."

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

"Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."

"Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"