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Jay Mohr

"Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."

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"Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Even bipolar vampires needed sleep from time to time, and he was well past his recommended safe dosage of stress."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"And what?" (Michael)When did you get home?" Claire demanded.Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different."

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Amber Hurdle

"If a princess in the days of enchantment had seen a four-footed creature from among those which live in herds come to her once and again with a human gaze which rested upon her with choice and beseeching, what would she think of in her journeying, what would she look for when the herds passed her? Surely for the gaze which had found her, and which she would know again."

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Amber Hurdle

"My life is a fairytale stuck at the climax."

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Amber Hurdle

"More and more I feel like a letter-deposited here, collected there. But a letter addressed to no one."

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Amber Hurdle

"Rhys gave no warning as he gripped my arm, snarling softly, and tore off my glove. His touch was like a brand, and I flinched, yielding a step, but he held firm until he'd gotten both gloves off. " I heard you begging someone, anyone, to rescue you, to get you out. I heard you say no." "I didn't say anything." He turned my bare hand over, his hold tightening as he examined the eye he'd tattooed. He tapped the pupil. Once. Twice. " I heard it loud and clear."

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Amber Hurdle

"She can feel his blood, just beneath his skin; when he breathes, the air fills with smoke. He's like a dragon, ancient and fearless."

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Amber Hurdle

"This is why I can't be with Levi. Because I'm the kind of girl who fantasizes about being trapped in a library overnight -- and Levi can't even read."

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Amber Hurdle

"He thought he was walking along a dusty road that showed white in the gathering darkness of a summer night. Whence and whither it led, and why he traveled it, he did not know, though all seemed simple and natural, as is the way in dreams; for in the Land Beyond the Bed surprises cease from troubling and the judgment is at rest."

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Amber Hurdle

"Fantasy is my favorite genre for reading and writing. We have more options than anyone else, and the best props and special effects. That means if you want to write a fantasy story with Norse gods, sentient robots, and telepathic dinosaurs, you can do just that. Want to throw in a vampire and a lesbian unicorn while you're at it? Go ahead."

Explore more quotes by Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
"I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once."
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Jay Mohr
"Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind."
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Jay Mohr
"Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts."
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Jay Mohr
"I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball."
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Jay Mohr
"I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it."
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Jay Mohr
"I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field."
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Jay Mohr
"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."
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Jay Mohr
"Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"
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Jay Mohr
"I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating."
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Jay Mohr
"Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."
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