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Jay Mohr

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

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"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

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Amber Hurdle

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Day,
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Amber Hurdle

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

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Amber Hurdle

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

Day,
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Amber Hurdle

"The statements of four witnesses of unquestioned integrity, traveling with me that day, attest that such comments were never made and confirm that it simply did not happen."

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Amber Hurdle

"I try to be the best man I can for the day."

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Amber Hurdle

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."

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Amber Hurdle

"I play piano every day."

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Amber Hurdle

"Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day, and through space heaven knows how fast and far!"

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Amber Hurdle

"I'll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing."

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Jay Mohr
"I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once."
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Jay Mohr
"Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind."
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Jay Mohr
"I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball."
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Jay Mohr
"Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"
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Jay Mohr
"Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."
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Jay Mohr
"I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating."
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Jay Mohr
"I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field."
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Jay Mohr
"Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts."
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Jay Mohr
"I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it."
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Jay Mohr
"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."
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