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Rodney Dangerfield

"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."

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"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."

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Donna Grant

"Big Brother is watching you."

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Donna Grant

"Never give up your wife, husband, children and families. Believe that people can change. Give others opportunity to change."

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Donna Grant

"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."

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Donna Grant

"Blessed is the womb that born you."

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Donna Grant

"Until now, you have always lived your life alone. Every decision you've made has been for you and you alone. Now, and for the rest of your days, your life will be tied to another's. Every decision you make will be for both of you. What one does affects the other. You are a family, a team inseparable and unbreakable."

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Donna Grant

"A rubber plant is just about the ideal family."

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Donna Grant

"Father, I know you will hear me, I will speak."

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Donna Grant

"When we sat down on the couch again, you curled up against my side, like you used to when you were a tod."

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Donna Grant

"I was sixteen and my mother was about to throw me out of the house forever, for breaking a very big rule, even bigger than the forbidden books. The rule was not just No Sex, but definitely No Sex With Your Own Sex."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
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