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"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
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"Do not forget you mother, when she is old."
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Personal Development
"Children see beauty in everything."
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Personal Development
"You can become a model of a perfect man or a devoted husband and a father in order to show the role of the a man's responsibility for the family."
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Personal Development
"Do not refuse to help your own relatives."
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Personal Development
"A man's work is from sun to sun but a mother's work is never done."
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Personal Development
"Mothers care in volumes of tears and earnestness of prayers and a depth of emotion others cannot fathom."
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Personal Development
"Children are great observers."
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Personal Development
"Never sever ties with a family member you once loved. Each of you might be on different spiritual paths, but both trails are leading you home."
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Personal Development
"You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity."
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Personal Development
"Few are the giants of the soul who actually feel that the human race is their family circle."
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Personal Development
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"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Drink
"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."
Gay
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
Wife
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
Being
"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
Dying
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
Marriage
"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself."
Being
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
Wife
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