"I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam."

Humor, Independence, Attitude, Defiance

21

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, Religion, Diversity, Culture

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, God, Comedy, Fear, Laughter

"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."

Fredrik Backman, Swedish Author

Humor, Family, Coffee, Emotion

"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Stupidity, Wit, Honesty, Deception

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Comfort, Tea, Indifference, Life

Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system."

Health

"Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either."

Aging

"It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with."

Corruption

"It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine."

Independence

"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."

Parenting

"A person without regrets is called a corpse."

Mortality

"Trust is important to any relationship and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked."

Trust

"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."

Harmony

"Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier."

Humor

"Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air."

Humor