"Never have more children than you have car windows."

Car, Children, Windows

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"Never have more children than you have car windows."

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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

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"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."

Hunter S. Thompson, American Journalist

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"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"I have a need to make these sorts of connections literal sometimes, and a vehicle often helps to do that. I have a relationship to car culture. It isn't really about loving cars. It's sort of about needing them."

Matthew Barney, American Artist

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"I remember things that happened sixty years ago, but if you ask me where I left my car keys five minutes ago, that's sometimes a problem."

Lou Thesz, American Athlete

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"I am so sick of reading about another car bomb, another suicide bomber, another 10, 20, 30, 70, 100 people dead in a day, both Americans and Iraqis."

Rosanne Cash, American Musician

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"Just because you put higher-octane gasoline in your car doesn't mean you can break the speed limit. The speed limit's still 65."

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Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."

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"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

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"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"

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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

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"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."

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"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

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"Children make your life important."

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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

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"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

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"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."

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