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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's always been said that comedy comes mostly out of the dark side anyway."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it's essentially about listening. The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it's a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got everybody on my side through comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand."
School
"Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all."
Comedy
"I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again."
Time
"I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion."
Wife
"I like getting married, but I don't like being married."
Being
"It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it."
Money
"I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much."
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