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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development

"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
Author Name
Personal Development

"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
Author Name
Personal Development

"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development

"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Blonde is dumb comedy, red hair is smart, sexy comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much."
Support

"I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again."
Time

"I like getting married, but I don't like being married."
Being

"Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all."
Comedy

"I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand."
School

"I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion."
Wife

"It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it."
Money
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