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"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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Exlpore more Pragmatism quotes
"A lie that could help someone focus on his life was better than a hundred simple truths."
"Spirituality cannot be an excuse for not making money!!! Just a justification for failure!"
"Anything was better than nothing. Half-full was better than empty. Ignorance was the lowest form of humiliation and suffering."
"We must consult our means rather than our wishes."
"Idealism that makes no distinction between areas where our national interest lies and those from which it is remote does no good for America. The weariness of the post-Versailles, post-Korea, post-Vietnam eras is never far from the national mood."
"I've found that lifting the lid with your foot is the most thorough and least gross path to two minutes of peace of mind."
"The really essential factors of success in any undertaking are money and opportunity, and as a rule, the man who can make the first can make the second."
"It is better to be a pragmatist than a lunatic."
"Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn't really have a philosophy, but I could see how talking with the school director would be difficult for her. If he said something she didn't like, chopping him to tiny pieces wouldn't exactly help me get into the school."
"You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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