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Henny Youngman

"Take my wife... Please!"

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"Take my wife... Please!"

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Donna Grant

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

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Donna Grant

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore."

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Donna Grant

"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."

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Donna Grant

"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."

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Donna Grant

"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."

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Donna Grant

"My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."

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Henny Youngman
"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."

Worth

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Henny Youngman
"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"

Time

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Henny Youngman
"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."

Love

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Henny Youngman
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

Wife

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Henny Youngman
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Drink

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Henny Youngman
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

Money

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Henny Youngman
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Man

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Henny Youngman
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother

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Henny Youngman
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."

Help

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Henny Youngman
"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

Mother

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