"Take my wife... Please!"

Wife,

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"Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first."

Billy Sunday, American Clergyman

Wife, First

"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."

Jean Rostand, French Scientist

Wife, Thought, Remorse

"Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings."

Stevie Nicks, American Musician

Wife, Artist, Focus, Kids

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Wife,

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Wife, Years

"There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me."

Hugh Jackman, Australian Actor

Wife,

"The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband."

William Blackstone, English Judge

Wife, Husband

"A favorite cast? Lisa Kudrow, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, and my wife."

William H. Macy, American Actor

Wife, Favorite

"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."

Tony Curtis, American Actor

Wife, Old, Woman

"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."

David Brainerd, American Clergyman

Wife, English, Poor, Talk

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

Home

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

Drink

"You look like a talent scout for a cemetery."

Talent

"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."

Woman

"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."

Help

"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

Mother

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Exlpore more Wife quotes

"Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first."

"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."

"Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

"There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me."

"The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband."

"A favorite cast? Lisa Kudrow, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, and my wife."

"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."

"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

"You look like a talent scout for a cemetery."

"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."

"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."

"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."