top of page
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Car quotes

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,

"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."

"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
bottom of page