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"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""
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"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner


"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."


"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."


"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."


"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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