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Rita Rudner

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""

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"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""

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Amber Hurdle

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

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Amber Hurdle

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

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Amber Hurdle

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

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Amber Hurdle

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

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Amber Hurdle

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

Car,
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Amber Hurdle

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

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Amber Hurdle

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

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Amber Hurdle

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

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Amber Hurdle

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
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Rita Rudner
"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
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Rita Rudner
"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
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Rita Rudner
"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
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Rita Rudner
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
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Rita Rudner
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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Rita Rudner
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
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