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"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."
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Exlpore more Money quotes
"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."
"To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it."
"Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money."
"Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated."
"You cannot spend money in luxury without doing good to the poor. Nay, you do more good to them by spending it in luxury, than by giving it; for by spending it in luxury, you make them exert industry, whereas by giving it, you keep them idle."
Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
"It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity."
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
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