"Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases."

"Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank."

"Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters."

"People working in the private sector should try to save money. There remains the possibility that it may someday be valuable again."

"If today was half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was."

"If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was."

"One cannot legislate problems out of existence. It has been tried."

"Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base."

"The optimum committee has no members."

"If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off."

"Bulls do not win bull fights. People do."

"The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity."

"All too many consultants, when asked, 'What is 2 and 2?' respond, 'What do you have in mind?'"

"The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money."

"Hardware works best when it matters the least."

"There are many highly successful businesses in the United States. There are also many highly paid executives. The policy is not to intermingle the two."

"Most projects start out slowly - and then sort of taper off."

"Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated."

"By the time of the United States Tricentennial, there will be more government workers than there are workers."

"Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will be a thriving market in the sale of books on how to fix them."

"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice."

"Motivation will almost always beat mere talent."

"People do not win people fights. Lawyers do."

"Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing."

"If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance."

"Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread."

"One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.'"

"A revised schedule is to business what a new season is to an athlete or a new canvas to an artist."

"By the time the people asking the questions are ready for the answers, the people doing the work have lost track of the questions."