"I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution."

"It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind."

"Books, the children of the brain."

"I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed."

"There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake."

"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."

"I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning."

"Every dog must have his day."

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly."

"Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."

"The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier."

"No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience."

"We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."

"Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want."

"The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable, for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit."

"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster."

"Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind."

"A lie does not consist in the indirect position of words, but in the desire and intention, by false speaking, to deceive and injure your neighbour."

"Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder."

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others."

"Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age."

"Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent."

"Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old."

"May you live all the days of your life."

"A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle."

"Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance."

"No wise man ever wished to be younger."

"Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent."

"Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced."

"The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes."

"Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding."

"It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not."

"Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride."

"Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth, and judgment of age."

"There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through."

"As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense."

"The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman."

"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

"If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel."

"A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart."

"Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of."

"For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery."

"One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good."

"Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth."

"Don't set your wit against a child."

"It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom."