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Jonathan Swift

"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

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"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

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Akshay Vasu

"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

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Akshay Vasu

"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."

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Akshay Vasu

"His foe was folly and his weapon wit."

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Akshay Vasu

"Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."

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Akshay Vasu

"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."

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Akshay Vasu

"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."

Wit,
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Akshay Vasu

"Because if you've got the wit, you can make anything into a melody, ultimately."

Wit,
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Akshay Vasu

"This is a lot more satisfying," he said, "when I have intelligent life whom I can render awed, rapt with attention for my clever verbosity."The ugly lizard-crab-thing on the next rock over clicked its claw, an almost hesitant sound."Your right, of course," Wit said. "My usual audience isn't particularly intelligent. That was also the obvious joke, however, so shame on you."

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Akshay Vasu

"When you have wit of your own, it's a pleasure to credit other people for theirs."

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Akshay Vasu

"Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade."

Wit,

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"Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting."
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"As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold."
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart."
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"Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes."
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"The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome."
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"It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind."
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Jonathan Swift
"My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool."
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"Human brutes, like other beasts, find snares and poison in the provision of life, and are allured by their appetites to their destruction."
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"Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly."
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"Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions."
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