"We ardently desire to take down our masks and say to the world, 'This is who I am and I am okay. This is simple not easy.'"

"Like an empty bucket, my soul rings hollow when empty vibrates with emptiness, hollow sound of loneliness. Every cell in my body does not want to be alone.My loneliness is frightening, an all consuming thought."

"People who are unwilling to talk about deep personal issues do not trust their own emotions."

"Boundary violations are deeply experienced."

"I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization - simple but explosive."

"When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned."

"Shame is a powerful feeling. There is a tremendous difference between making a mistake and believing you are a mistake...If I don't see myself as being a mistake then it is I who must take responsibility and I am not ready to accept that."

"The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you."

"REAL people do not have to lie, exaggerate, or brag for they are self-contained in self-understanding and acceptance of themselves. REAL people can make a mistake knowing that even when they do, it is only a mistake and just because the outcome was not to their liking, they know THEY are not a mistake. REAL have the attitude this is who I am and I am good enough, right now just as I am. People who have chosen REAL have already clicked their heals together and returned home."

"Is God like the Greek god, Zeus, sending down lightning bolts to cause catastrophic events? Does God decree when tragic or untimely deaths occur? Does God have a list and when your time is up, you die? Is it 'God's will these events happen? On the other hand, do tragic events happen because of laws of nature or the law of averages?"

"When someone obtains peace and serenity, this shines a bright spotlight on others' own unhappiness making their discomfort even more apparent."

"When you wear a mask, you are not real."

"World's definition of successmaterial validation of selfcold and naked substitutefor inner warmth and beauty."

"Rigid traditions capture soulsprisons of spiritual thoughtman's religion has captured a god grown too small and very weak."

"If you are looking for love under rocks or bringing home water moccasins, you might be confusing love and pain."

"Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the intimacy they so ardently seek but with these coping skills find so elusive."

"They sought the pain they knew so well and called it love."

"If one looks at a balancing scale putting 'fear of change on one side and 'status quo on the other, they are often in balance. Change is hard. We tend to accept our condition and no matter how painful, we will not change until the balancing scale is tipped - only when the discomfort becomes greater than the fear of change does the scale tip."

"If no one has boundaries, how can there be any transgression?"

"Boundaries represent awareness, knowing what the limits are and then respecting those limits."

"This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty."

"Making amends is not only saying the words but also being willing to listen to how your behavior caused another's pain, and then the really hard part, changing behavior."

"Embracing doubt is sometimes threatening, as we fear losing our faith if we explore our doubts. Following that thought, if one loses one's faith, then as some religions dictate, that individual cannot enter heaven. Since heaven is the reward of an earthly existence, doubt becomes the enemy of this reward."

"Our minds have a great capacity for deception. This does not mean we are necessarily dishonest but if we are not careful, when our brains do not have answers, our minds will create them."

"For example, I can doubt that 2 + 2 = 4; however, my doubting does not change the equation. When I test out that formula and find that it is true, then that becomes my reality. How can anything become real until it is tested in the crucible of doubt?"

"Being judgmental is a form of attack keeping others off balance."

"Change is threatening to the status quo."

"When you journey inwardly exploring yourself, a sense of personal trust begins."

"Twirling round 'n round -faster and faster she dreams this circular motionwill take her home, high in the heavens where hurt is onlyan earthly world."

"Mature adults gravitate toward new values and understandings, not just rehashing and blind acceptance of past patterns and previous learning. This is an ongoing process and maturity demands lifelong learners."

"With improved coping skills forged through my midlife crisis, I now listen first and do not control, and I allow these now adult children to come to their own conclusions about what they want for their lives."

"Reality may not be what you want it to be, but it is the reality you now must face. You can deny this reality and try to wish it away, or you can accept it and not waste any energy on wanting it to be different."

"Our parents were our first gods. If parents are loving, nurturing, and kind, this becomes the child's definition of the creator. If parents were controlling, angry, and manipulative, then this becomes their definition."

"Being able to say, 'No, is a necessary ingredient in a healthy lifestyle."

"It was His gentle voice who calledand sent His angel pain to guide me, through the long 'n dusty corridors, and empty hallways of my soul."

"It is one thing to know about your dysfunctional habits but quite another to change them."

"If we want to improve, first we have to recognize our own maladaptive coping skills, called codependency, then change."

"Consider letting go of the barriers between yourself and others, let go of the definition our culture has inflicted upon us and allow the best part of ourselves to connect with the wondrous parts of others. Allow yourself to connect in a deeper and more profound way."

"When life beats us down, we often do not feel worthwhile to ourselves nor to anyone else. Often, we try to hide our feelings of inadequacy in pursuit of perfection, which develops into self-loathing. If only we can be perfect, then we can be okay."

"Children have empty erasable white boards upon which big people write indelibly imprinted messages into their tender subconscious minds."

"When one person attempts to 'fix it for the other person, the connection of acceptance is snapped and the sender and receiver miss an opportunity for understanding."

"Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families."

"The strange part about a person's lack of trust is that it often comes from not trusting themselves."

"Being real is being true to you."

"The more dysfunctional, the more some family members seek to control the behavior of others."

"To be free to roam our own consciousness and be responsible for ourselves, a letting go process is required. We have to let go of how others define us; what damaging messages remain from childhood; how others define our relationship with the creator; and what expectations they may have for us."

"This wonderful gray of acceptance resides between the extremes of black and white thinking; looking for serenity, explore the gray. Part of that acceptance is understanding that life is hard and involves life and death. Part of that acceptance is that I am responsible for my actions."

"Everyone needs a place to be honest."

"No matter how I want things to stay the same, no matter how discomforting change can be, I am stuck with the certainty that all molecules vibrate; all things are in constant motion; and change will happen. I can either accept that truth or suffer depression when I do not accept the reality that surrounds me. Change is constant; I am not the same person today as the person who put his head down on the pillow last night. Iron Mask."

"In order for a person to be able to 'turn our lives and our wills over requires something very difficult for a spiritually wounded person to accomplish - Trust. Yet, to accomplish this step, trust of the spirit must be present."