"Temporary solutions often become permanent problems."

"When trying to locate something, search your mind first."

"Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance."

"Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve."

"Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea."

"Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed."

"Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat."

"'Programming' is a four-letter word."

"When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it."

"The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't."

"My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon."

"Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years."

"Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy!"

"When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists."

"I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe."

"In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman."

"Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism."

"It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow."

"Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade."

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability."

"It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals."

"When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening."

"The Thought Police: To censor and protect."

"If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people."

"Now is the time for all good men to run like hell."

"Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation."

"The only thing that is obscene is censorship."

"Never underestimate the power of a simple tool."

"When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun."

"The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld."

"It's funny how most activists are pacifists."

"Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am."

"The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion."

"Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be."

"Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand."

"The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!"

"You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for."

"I am woman, hear me bitch."

"The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius."

"I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!'"