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"It's funny how most activists are pacifists."
Standard
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"My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon."
End
"Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance."
Truth
"'Programming' is a four-letter word."
Word
"Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy!"
Money
"Why are people unemployed? Because there is no work. Why is there no work? Because people are not buying products and services. Why are people not buying products and services? Because they have no money. Why do people have no money? Because they are unemployed."
Money
"Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea."
Beauty
"Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat."
Business
"The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!"
Universe
"Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism."
Conservatism
"I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe."
Universe
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very funny, we played them very straight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time."
Author Name
Personal Development
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