top of page
.png){kind=small}
"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Humor quotes
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
Explore more quotes by Casey Stengel
"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided."
"When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out."
"The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss."
"Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before."
"They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again."
"The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it."
bottom of page