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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Anonymous


"Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!"
Spiritual


"I can hear your angered silence,Taste your bitterness.Now I smell your vengeance,Yet see your lonely emptiness.I am your broken heart."
Emotion


"Today well lived will prepare me for both the pleasure and the pain of tomorrow."
Life


"Self-searching is the means by which we bring new vision action and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God's help. ... We find that bit by bit we can discard the old life-the one that did not work-for a new life that can and does work under conditions whatever."
Spiritual


"For this reason I tell you: When you pray and ask for something, believe that you have received it, and you will be given whatever you ask for."
Faith


"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Humor


"Morality established from Science is the key to understanding Coexistence.Science based on Morality is the reason we have prejudice for things we don't understand."
Philosophy


"A little house well filled a little land well tilled and a little wife well willed are great riches."
Life


"Every time a man puts a new idea across he finds ten men who thought of it before he did - but they only thought of it."
Creativity


"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Humor
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