"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

Humor, Kitchen, Home

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"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Love, Appearance, Judgment

"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Struggle, Difficulty, Life

"So I am death' Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast.'This is death toast sweety."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Truth, Emotion

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Conversation, Inquiry, Observation, Truth

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, History, Creativity, Imagination

"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Life, Creativity

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

Frank Howard Clark, American Writer

Humor,

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

Horace Walpole, English Author

Humor, Imagination, Man, Sense

"Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him."

Dick Van Dyke, American Actor

Humor, Hope, Sense

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"To improve your memory lend people money."

Advice

"The secret of patience ... to do something else in the meantime."

Inspirational

"A real friend helps us think our best thoughts do our noblest deeds be our finest selves."

Emotional

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

Love

"You see that girl over there? The one being picked on? Do you know whose fault it is that she's being picked on? Society. Just because she doesn't look and dress a certain way makes her different. Like how dare she be different?! No, how dare you pick on someone just because they aren't afraid to be different, just because they don't follow society's rules of what makes you 'perfect' and 'popular' It's pathetic because if she turned up to school tomorrow looking like a freaking super model straight from a magazine those people picking on her would be tripping over their f-ing feet to be her friend. Because that's just how society works."

Social

"Don't ever compliment me by insulting other women. That's not a compliment, it's a competition none of us agreed to."

Social

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

"So I am death' Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast.'This is death toast sweety."

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

"Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him."

Explore more quotes by Anonymous

"To improve your memory lend people money."

"The secret of patience ... to do something else in the meantime."

"A real friend helps us think our best thoughts do our noblest deeds be our finest selves."

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

"Travel with the wit of an adult, and the wonder of a child."

"There is one art, no more, no less, to do all things with artlessness."

"A picture is a voiceless poem, a poem is a vocal picture."

"A man is known by the company he keeps."

"Don't ever compliment me by insulting other women. That's not a compliment, it's a competition none of us agreed to."