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"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Explore more quotes by John Cleese
"But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with."
"I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires."
"If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth."
"The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats."
"God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered."
"I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing."
"It seems astounding to me now that the video games are perhaps as important as the movie themselves. And people will spend 2 or 3 years obsessing about the video game in exactly the same way that they'd be obsessing about the movie if they were working on that."
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