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"The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh."
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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
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Personal Development
"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
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"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
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"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."
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"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
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Personal Development
"Partly because the town is just finicky, there are strange Catch 22 clauses in the consciousness of this community and one of them was that you, I found out, you can't do a comedy unless you've just done a comedy."
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"Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare."
Shakespeare
"I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin."
Home
"I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent."
Leadership
"I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!"
Family
"I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it."
Science
"There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking."
God
"I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous."
Comedy
"You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft."
Life
"The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up."
Reason
"It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!"
Time
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