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Steven Wright

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

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"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

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Amber Hurdle

"A handful of soldiers is always better than a mouthful of arguments."

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Amber Hurdle

"We go round and round trying to convince one another that our opinion makes more sense. And the only winner is time for making us look like fools by wasting it."

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Amber Hurdle

"The conservative argument is that the economy is like the weather, that it just operates automatically."

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Amber Hurdle

"They believed that Britain was in Ireland defending their own interests, therefore the Irish had the right to use violence to put them out. My argument was that that type of thinking was out of date."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can make an argument that Bill O'Reilly is a conservative or a Republican. Bill's kind of unpredictable. Somebody might say that he would have been comfortable in the Democratic Party of Scoop Jackson."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat."

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Amber Hurdle

"A flourishing, morally credible media is a vital component in the maintenance of genuinely public talk, argument about common good."

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Amber Hurdle

"That's what we're missing. We're missing argument. We're missing debate. We're missing colloquy. We're missing all sorts of things. Instead, we're accepting."

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Amber Hurdle

"I mean the only thing that is hopefully good about us is after the arguments we can actually still face each other the next day or the day after and talk about something else and sort of get over it."

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Amber Hurdle

"The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
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Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
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Steven Wright
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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Steven Wright
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
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Steven Wright
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
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