"She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork."

Humor, Appearance, Truth, Observation, Wisdom

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"She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

Explore more quotes by Jonathan Swift

"Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride."

Humility

"I always love to begin a journey on Sundays because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land or by water."

Spiritual

"Very few men properly speaking live at present but are providing to live another time."

Future

"When I am reading a book whether wise or silly it seems to me to be alive and talking to me."

Reading

"It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom."

Mistake

"Complaint is the largest tribute Heaven receives."

Complaint

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Explore more quotes by Jonathan Swift

"Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride."

"I always love to begin a journey on Sundays because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land or by water."

"Very few men properly speaking live at present but are providing to live another time."

"When I am reading a book whether wise or silly it seems to me to be alive and talking to me."

"Don't set your wit against a child."

"Proper words in proper places make the true definition of a style."

"Brutes find out where their talents lie a bear will not attempt to fly."

"Promise and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom."

"Complaint is the largest tribute Heaven receives."