top of page

"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."
Pet,
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Pet quotes

"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."

"I have some road rage inside of me. Traffic, especially in L.A., is a pet peeve of mine."

"Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright


"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."


"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."


"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
bottom of page