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"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
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"My mother insisted that I have a normal upbringing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Madlen came to sit beside her on the bed. "Lady Queen," she said with her own particular brand of rough gentleness. "It is not the job of the child to protect her mother. It's the mother's job to protect the child. By allowing your mother to protect you, you gave her a gift. Do you understand me?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"She was a genius, my mother."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I heard stories from my mother's mother who was an American Indian. She was spiritual, although she did not go to church, but she had the hum. She used to tell me stories of the rivers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother had lots and lots of children who didn't survive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and my mother and father sat there in shock."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother taught me to read."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I saw Virginia Woolf, somewhere between the first and second acts, someone I had known as my mother became somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother gave me a sense of independence, a sense of total confidence that we could do whatever it was we set out to do. That's how we were raised."
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Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
People
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Life
"Men who do things without being told draw the most wages."
Men
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
Wife
"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."
Favorite
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
Marriage
"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Time
"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
Family
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Father
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