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"When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance."
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"When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance."
Appearance

"If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward."
Laughter

"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."
Wife

"My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it."
Mother

"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."
Difference

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
People

"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
Humor

"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."
Children

"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year."
People

"I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year."
Time
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"There was a photograph of Trout. He was an old man with a full black beard. He looked like a frightened, aging Jesus, whose sentence to crucifixion had been commuted to imprisonment for life."
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Personal Development

"Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only."
Author Name
Personal Development

"There are accents in the eye which are not on the tongue, and more tales come from pale lips than can enter an ear. It is both the grandeur and the pain of the remoter moods that they avoid the pathway of sound."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Some women are good-looking - until they change their hairstyle."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Suffering is sometimes cleansing, said the man. His clothes were casual, but expensive. "It can purify.""It can also fuck you up, said Shadow."
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Personal Development

"There is no being eloquent for atheism. In that exhausted receiver the mind cannot use its wings, - the clearest proof that it is out of its element."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Travis: I didn't know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt like a geek.Travis: You are a geek."
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Personal Development

"Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling."
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Personal Development

"What hypocrites we seem to be whenever we talk of ourselves! Our words sound so humble, while our hearts are so proud."
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Personal Development

"Proper deformity shows not in the fiendSo horrid as in woman."
Author Name
Personal Development
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