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Tommy Cooper

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now,
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"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

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Donna Grant

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It will be a difficult couple of days. It's difficult now and it will be difficult tomorrow."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"So now what happens is the cameras follow me around and capture exactly what I've been doing since I was a boy. Only now we have a team of, you know, like 73 of us, and it's gone beyond that."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"If I were to write Web now, it would be a much, much darker book."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"You go out with a girl you used to date, she looks so damn good, and then at a certain point you say, Boy, now I remember. I know why I left!"

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Donna Grant

"I'll tell you what 20 years teaches you - is that if one thing doesn't last something else will come down the pipe and to go from that and to do these films now."

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Tommy Cooper
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought

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Tommy Cooper
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car

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Tommy Cooper
"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now

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Tommy Cooper
"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

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Tommy Cooper
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

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Tommy Cooper
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

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Tommy Cooper
"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."

Windows

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Tommy Cooper
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

Driving

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Tommy Cooper
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink

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Tommy Cooper
"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

Kitchen

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