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"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
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"Gray Davis can run a dirty campaign better than anyone, but he can't run a state."
"Even if you go to Australia today, it's very much like visiting a state you haven't been to."
"When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states."
"I reverted easily to my wild state, that is experimentation."
"I did have a big following in the upper New York area. I was at the New York State Fair a few times over the years. I have areas that I say are my areas."
"Many transition states have a well-defined preferred geometrical requirement."
"We might say that the state is like an addictive drug: the more of it we have, the more we 'need' it and the more we come to 'depend' on it."
Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."
"Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels."
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