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"Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
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"Nice dress. Take it off."
Humor
"There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls."
Lifestyle
"So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?''Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the owner will try to get it back."
Society
"When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: 'She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank."
Health
"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
Comedy
"Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks,' I said to Ziggy.'I'll try,' Ziggy said, 'but it's a hard habit to break."
Behavior
"Sure, he was attracted to her, but women always had to go beyond that.Women [had] nesting fantasies. It wasn't long before they wereredecorating your apartment and criticizing your choice of mustard."
Relationship
"You took your clothes off?''You didn't notice?''No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you.''If you look under the covers, you'll know me better.''I don't want to know you better!''That's a big fib,' Diesel said."
Humor
"In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment."
Relationship
"Ranger locked eyes with me. 'Please,' he said.Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to 'please.' I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay,' I said. 'Be careful. He's insane."
Trust
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