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Exlpore more Warning quotes

"Be warned: A person content to sit with you and criticize others will speak critically of you out of earshot."

"When placing an emergency call, it is important to remember that a corrupt or incompetent cop may be on their way to you."

"If any woman opens her legs for you, don't feel so lucky to be fed with nonsense, she has been a bitch for a long time, and now its your own turn to get a share from her itching tunnel."

"If I tell you not to follow me, it ain't because I hate you, kiddo.I just don't want you feel dissapointed...when seeing the truth."

"If we go on like this, there won't be anything left to fight for."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright


"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."


"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."


"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."


"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."


"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"


"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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