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Rita Mae Brown

"I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull."

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"I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull."

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Amber Hurdle

"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

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Amber Hurdle

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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Amber Hurdle

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

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Amber Hurdle

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

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Amber Hurdle

"I got everybody on my side through comedy."

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Amber Hurdle

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

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Amber Hurdle

"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."

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Rita Mae Brown
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
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Rita Mae Brown
"Morals are private. Decency is public."
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Rita Mae Brown
"Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment."
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Rita Mae Brown
"Recognition of function always precedes recognition of being."
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Rita Mae Brown
"I believe you are your work. Don't trade the stuff of your life, time, for nothing more than dollars. That's a rotten bargain."
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Rita Mae Brown
"I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate."
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Rita Mae Brown
"I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can."
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Rita Mae Brown
"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."
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Rita Mae Brown
"About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all."
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Rita Mae Brown
"Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash."
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