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"I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development

"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development

"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."
Happiness

"Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there."
Literature

"Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash."
Education

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
Friendship

"I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull."
Comedy

"Humor comes from self-confidence."
Humor

"Every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful."
Success

"Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I'll go a step further. You must be bisexual."
Identity

"As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls."
Woman

"I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate."
Woman
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